I was born in a family of orators. My father was an orator, so was my elder brother. It was only me who had a stammering problem. I asked many times to myself, “Why ME?” But that was a wrong question that I asked myself as I was growing up. When I was in school, teachers would ask each one of us to stand up and read the portion of the chapter in discussion.
While my friends were able to read aloud the content, I had to stutter to push out each and every word. I was laughed at… at times ridiculed. I could hear the giggles in the class as I was speaking.
When I got into college, the problem didn’t go away fully. I still had problems with certain words that started with p, t, ka, etc. Sometimes I would speak the words fluently as if I had no problem at all.
I didn’t dare to participate in any elocution competitions, group discussions, much less speaking in public. Speaking was a nightmare.
I dreamt stammering. I feared talking over phone. I feared speaking to strangers. I feared to make friends.
When I was going through my worst days, I had the feeling of ending my life. Then transformation happened. I realized that I need to conquer internally first to manifest fluency in the external world.
I read many books on NLP, self-hypnotism, Vipassana meditation, relaxation techniques and many more. Not only did I read all those books, I also practised each and every technique.
Finally, it occurred to me that I cannot overcome stammering just by speaking slowly or pushing the words out with a lot of air. It might work on a very few occasion, but not every time.
I also felt that if I had to bring a permanent change, the change should happen inside me – in my mind, in my self-talk, in my nerve cells, in my entire nervous system.
Then I learnt how to calm down myself internally, how to speak fluently inside my mind, and how to conquer inner fluency.
And you know what? I manifested a fluent speech. My relatives and friends said ‘MIND BLOWING!”
That was the ah! Moment.